The Denium Dilemma.

I hate buying pants. Plain and simple. When I want a suit, I get a short because of my short torso. I turn to the "European" cut of shirts to flatter my hourglass shape and small shoulders. But pants are a constant issue. I'm left with four options; Skinny Jeans, Thug Jeans or having shit tailored. I have huge muscular thighs. And large calves. I live in a city and bike, it's a residential hazard. But apparently, you have to be paralyzed in order to buy attractive pants. For me, my issues are as follows; small waist, large quads, small knee joint followed by large calf and small ankle. Tight fitting pants hug all these curves and make me look like an overweight 14 year old who spent three hours trying to squeeze into her new BDG whatever the fucks from Urban Outfitters. "Relaxed" jeans are my best bet, but I feel really unattractive in fucking balloon pants. The best pair of pants I've ever owned were these incredible Liz Clairborne "straights" from the nineties that I found in some thrift shop back home. Not only were they this great chocolate brown that went with everything, they looked great on me. I wore them for years, until, a couple months ago, the knees finally went out. Today, I had to go out and face the world of pants. After hours of searching, I had to give up and purchase the leftmost pair. Apparently, they are NOT skinny, but "slim." I have no idea what the difference is, however they were slightly better looking on me than those labeled "skinny" or "tight." I still feel really uncomfortable in them. But I need pants, even if I look like some teddy boy with a beyonce rump.